Here goes:

A noteworthy twitter update (or, “tweet”) should be structured in a way that you could start a decent (however short or long) conversation based on that message.

Examples of good:

• Who the fuck asks for their papers in 10pt Arial? My 5-page 12pt Times New Roman paper instantly becomes 3 1/2 because of this craziness.
• Just purchased $100 in European travel books.
• Ben & Jerry’s creates “Yes Pecan!” Flavor for Obama. For Bush? “Cluster Fudge.” “Impeach Cobbler.” “Iraqi Road.” “Anchovy Fuckup Surprise.”

Examples of bad:

• Beer FTW!
• I walked up those stairs, yes I did!
• I ate a pancake.

Not to say there aren’t exceptions, that I don’t tweet badly (I constantly share mindless, stupid information that nobody cares about), or that the bad tweets wouldn’t be good in some contexts (imagining a lengthy discussion about steep stairs), but this might be a good starting point.

Disclaimer: I absolutely hate it when people say “FTW,” “win!,” “fail,” or “epic!” I’m just a curmudgeon, I know.